What is ur aspiration in life?

Not so long time ago I've listened a song of Beyonce where she was singing about aspiration. She said her aspiration in life is to be happy. It actually made me think about my aspiration in life. What is it? What is this something or someone who will make me happy? My answer is my baby :) it might sounds sentimental but that's my truth. Whole my life can be explained as "live now Fuck future". I was struggling many times where I had no food to eat or no place to sleep. And it really wasn't matter for me, cause I was young wild and free. Lol. But then those two lines on my pregnancy test just turned around whole my life. It changed everything. I was like ooooommggggg is that for real??? Am I a mommy to be??? Wait, how? Why? Seriously? So many questions were coming to my mind. But I was happy. First time in my life I felt this feeling when I am truly happy. Its not alike as buying a new shoes or eating ur favorite desert. Its totally different. It was new feeling to me and I really liked it. And then here the pregnancy goes. No appetite at first, terrible morning sickness, mood changes, weight loss. I didn't understand what was going on but the only thing I was worrying is my baby. I hoped he was fine while I was suffering from terrible changes of my body. Then many things changed that actually put me under deep deep depression. Honestly, at that time I forgot that I have to think about my baby and nothing else. I was too selfish to understand that baby feels everything I feel. I'm sorry, my little sunshine, my love, my life that u had to go though all this shit but also thank you u didn't leave me and always been with me. It was really hard time and mentally and physically for both of us, but in the end of the day we have each other and yes, this is my happiness. I'm on 36 weeks of pregnancy already and my baby is about to see this world :) I can't even explain how would be out first meeting. What am I say? Will I cry? Damn. I have no knowledge of babies. What am I do? But then I'm calming, cause I know, I will do my best for my baby. He is my blood, he is my heart, he is my life, he is my everything. And I will do whatever it takes from me to make his life the best and to him have everything I've never had. He will be a great person. The one that I will be proud of and the one everyone will take example of. So, for the last 22 years of my life I was always looking for my personal aspiration and i found one. My aspiration is to be happy. And my baby, my son is the one that makes me happy and I'm happy that he makes me happy :))))))) I love you, baby boy, and mommy can't wait to meet u finally :) muah, amor :****

Introduction

Hello for those, who is reading my blog. Well, let me introduce myself In the first post. I'm not a food, fashion, car or etc. blogger. No, I am not. I also have no special skills or achievements I'd like to share. I'm just a Kazakh girl who's decided to have a blog in order to express the thoughts that coming up to my mind every day. And even though, I have pretty good Russian and Turkish, I've decided to write into this blog in English since this is the only language that perfectly explain everything I'd like to say. So, please don't judge my grammar or spelling mistakes :D So, for the last 22 years, my life was with no meaning. I've tried many things and made many mistakes that I regret. However, I am blessed. Firstly, I'm blessed with family I have. My beautiful mommy and sister who's always been with me and forgive me no matter what. These women are ideal. They are that type of way every men need to look for. Beautiful, smart, strong. About me? No, I'm not like them :) I'm the opposition of them. That's why they are my idols. They are that examples of woman I would like to become one day. Secondly, God blessed me with a baby. :)))) yayyyyy. I am expecting a baby in a few weeks. And yes, I probably made this blog to express my feelings what it is to be preggy and to be a mommy. This is the first time I feel different and I'm so exited. And yes, I love talking about my baby a lot :)))) not sure about gender, but for 80% its a baby boy :) and its the most precious news that makes me feel happy every single day :) Well, I know u start having question yourself is she married? Who's daddy and where is he? Unfortunately, this is a subject I less would like to talk about. But, I promise, one day when I feel so, I will write a lil post about baby daddy. But for now, I would like to not talk about it and close the subject. Not bad introduction, isn't it? :) p.s I love sweets :) a lot of sweets. :)